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The leaf on the branch

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Yesterday, after sending my boy to childcare, I was brisk walking along East coast park with my wife. It was when I am enjoying the breeze and the smells of the sea when the childcare center called me that my boy had a fall and his nose is bleeding. The teacher asked if we would like to take him back home. We asked if he is still alright and if he is still bleeding, and the teacher said the bleeding had stopped and he is okay.

So, we continued walking.

I told my wife that this behavior is likely not normal at all. From the way the teacher speaks to us, apprehensively, I guess she was quite used to getting scolded by parents. She was quite apologetic and was genuinely sorry for what she interpreted as neglect, because it happened on her watch while she was distracted by other kids. Well, it could have happened to anyone, and as long as there isn’t any major and permanent damage, I think it’s a good lesson for everyone, including and especially my boy.

When a leaf falls, whose fault is it? The tree that let it go, the wind that blew it away, or the leaf that got tired of hanging on?

I don’t think I ever mentioned that I am one of the Hyflux 6% cumulative preference shares holder. I got in at $98, while the par value is $100, thinking that it is a good deal. Well, it was, for a time being, until it wasn’t. I could have cut loss when it started plunging lower but I didn’t. Conversely, I could have bought more while it fell, but I also didn’t do it and that’s something I can be grateful about. It can always be worse. When I suspect that the saga is going to drag and there’s a possibility that I could get nothing back, I immediately wrote down the value of that investment to $0. That’s a write down of close to $9.2k net.

When a leaf falls, whose fault is it? The tree that let it go, the wind that blew it away, or the leaf that got tired of hanging on?

I never participated in any of the town-hall meetings nor the Hong Lim park’s protest, or any of the myriad online vitriol about what could be, should be, must be. It’s a have-been now, and I thought I should just suck it up and focus on making better mistakes next time.

I think I handled this whole saga pretty well, meaning I was not at all bothered. Why? I remember a decade or more ago, when s-shares are hot and fashionable, I was embroiled in a s-share company called Longcheer. I bought and bought and finally capitulated, losing about 12 to 15k? I can’t remember. And that episode sank me deep to depression. Not the oh-I-am-so-angsty type. The suicidal type. Looking back, it was quite serious, but I didn’t seek help and I just sort it out myself in about a month or two. Essentially, my work brought me back. That was such a educational and enlightening experience, mainly to know about myself. That was a great mistake, and I learned from it to never to average down, or to catch a falling knife. I didn’t repeat it anymore, but it would be better if I had cut loss instead of holding it till kingdom come. I guess it takes one solid painful incident, instead of many insignificant ones, to remove the shitty directive inside my mind of being a ‘long term investor’, or that ‘in the long run, things will be fine’.

If you’re a Hyflux bond or pref shares holder, whether you’re happy or unhappy, I doubt there’s much things you can control at this point in time. What you can control is your emotional landscape, so try to make the best out of the whole situation.

Make better mistakes next time.

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